Brian's Review: Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Energy Drink

Well first off I don't do much energy drinking. I have plenty of energy, they need to make a drink called "I'm underpaid, poor and my bones ache drink" Then I would start drinking something. Let me start off by saying I was at a local Wal-Mart trying to get some milk so my son could have some cereal in the morning. Low and behold I come accross this little container of heaven:

I thought to myself "What the heck, its only a dollar" So I carry it to the check out line like I have Thor's hammer, slightly overflexing my bicep to show my check-out lane dominance and to sooth any coupon excited mothers at bay. Once I made my purchase it was out the door to the car....

Back at the office I sat back and situated myself with a 8oz coffee cup and the can of Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt Energy Drink. Once I cracked it open I could tell immediately I wasn't messing with your ordinary energy drink. And here is where fellow people where I give you my review:

Packaging:

Pretty cool even for an energy drink. With Steven Seagal's face on it...it gets negative 50 points. They totally photoshopped under his chin, probly cutting off the massive chunk to make him more youthful. ( or added it to the ingredients, see Taste) If you don't believe me check it out:

VS the real deal:

Smell:

Well it smells exactly like you would think, like a sweaty overweight B rated martial artist. Not that thats a bad thing, but not something I would want to smell all the time. Basically smelled like an over weight jenny craig addict rubbed a cup of bengay on his/her toungue and then spit into a can of black cherry skoal.

Taste:

My dear lord....I love V-8 juice. But this tastes like carbonated V-8 juice with ground up hotdogs. Everytime I took a swig my face would convulce into a mild grimace like I was stroking out. But then the after taste of cherries and wood polish made me giddy, like the first contact buzz off a sharpie. Nasty but not really that bad, if that makes any sence.

Enjoy that...go find some and test it your self.

http://www.lightningdrink.com/

EDIT: I just thought I might add its been over an hour since I drank it and I have yet to disable anyone in the office with an akido move. Somebody flung a swingline and my arm/face got owned. Hence, no super powers were gained. I am now truely disapointed.